It was always loud, an
incessant chatter
snapping me out of the moment and
strapping me in for the ride

Comical, now
because
nothing was actually wrong
then

These days, I sit in meeting
after meeting
placating assholes
nodding
smiling

pretending millions of people
aren’t dying

and that drone
of anxiety
has become
white noise

So constantly present
in the background
that I’m almost no longer
aware

and I greet
with care
the wish to just escape
to quietly cease

and I laugh
that I ever felt like dying
when I was actually able
to live